Had to explain the Sex Pistols to someone last night. #Old

Well I just finished that crossword puzzle so I hope I'm happy now.

Lets just keep this between ourselves. Cc: @jakefogelnest http://t.co/MusvP9weP8

So mad to discover I've been spelling "homunculus" wrong this whole time. #alchemy

Thumbs look #dumb.

RT @pattonoswalt: "A Closed Letter to Myself About Thievery, Heckling and Rape Jokes." Have a good weekend, guys: http://t.co/jthIL9XiRu

I got a nice compliment from @tedleo last night:"You're a lot more fun than you think you are." #CrabbyCanBeFun

I don't think it's possible for me to love anything more than I do "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road." #EltonJohnLove

Just post another video of your cat please. Why beat around the bush.

Tonight me and @tedleo are going to sing in the Sinatra tribute show in Central Park, come down and see us!

RT @aRealLiveGhost: I've got it all: food, cloth, a big mouth full of the normal amount of teeth

"I used to think a turtle was dumber than a salamander."-- @tedleo, just now. #DumbieRemarks

By the way, Neil Patrick Harris' opening Tony number was fucking fantastic and moving and brilliant. #Tonys

This is what I'm watching: http://t.co/kALd63R7jG

From now on writing "totes" as "TOTS." #Advanced

Slade had the #dumbest haircuts.

LOLing at Judge John @hodgman in the NYTimes magazine, because he is thoroughly LOL-able AT ALL TIMES.

Ate fistfuls of candy at a movie last night like a 7-year-old. #GoodMove

Feel pretty sad that #Smash is no longer going to be with us. @tedleo @bnacker @DJRotaryRachel @MPenn @m_proksch @amelieg

Bid @tedleo adieu today after a fun week of mixing and writing and hanging out. #Both #TheBoth #Smash #BlackMirror

Still trying to recover from hearing @tedleo pronounce "cashew" with the stress on the second syllable.

Just watched Mad Men with @DJRotaryRachel and @MPenn...we're kind of speechless.

Look how adorable you are, @KimletGordon! http://t.co/vmIiyG1ikI

First of all, #HBD, and second, what's this I hear about #TwoCecils?

I found a bag of gluten-free cookies and immediately made a decision to eat them until I got sick. #plans

Orleans and Seger and Cher and Badfinger...satellite radio is making me feel weird.

What the hell is wrong with me I'm sitting in the car listening to "Night Moves."

Playing the "is it blood or coffee?" game with the stains on my front walkway today.

In traffic with @DJRotaryRachel and @MPenn singing the Mentos theme song. #Freshmaker

Yes @DJRotaryRachel and I are in a bar and it is too loud to talk and we are tweeting at each other and laughing like maniacs #dum

Harry Connick Jr. tells it like it is on Idol & it's awesome: http://t.co/Bd4ChnEvja

"One good thing about narcissism? You got a lot of footage."-- @MPenn

I like Joe Walsh. #EaglesDoc

Glenn Frey is starting to have a lot of beefs with people. #EaglesDocumentary @jonwurster

"He LOOKS cool!"-- @jonwurster upon seeing Irving Azoff in the Eagles' documentary.

Watching the Eagle's documentary with @MPenn and @jonwurster--"Is Don Henley tiny? His sticks look really big on him!"

"I'll be huddled over a garbage can fire before I wear google glasses."-- @DJRotaryRachel

Controversial opinions about "Magical Mystery Tour" here at @morgan_murphy's. @DJRotaryRachel calling it "the Beatle's Sgt. Pepper."

My pal Sam Jones has a great new site where he does interviews with people, this is mine! http://t.co/uy8iqL3f9X

Here are some great photos of the show at Webster Hall with @tedleo http://t.co/lKdolvWLNb

Please contribute to this fund for Scott Miller's family; he was a great musician & friend & huge influence on me: http://t.co/uV20Mdvmeq

I'm at soundcheck and @sharonvanetten is playing and it is so hauntingly beautiful. Come see her, you can always leave before I go on!

Just texting with @MaryKoCo about how much we love @andylevy. It's a #yesandy day.

They said the flight was delayed because of "lightning on the ramp." What the hell IS that?

Kind of nervous about this puddle-jumper we're about to fly on. @paulie_be is trying to assuage my fears by calling it an "artisanal plane."

Oh, Inverness.

"Fountain of Sorrow" is positively JAUNTY next to the exhausted hopelessness of "Late For the Sky." #noose #razor

Debating with a friend about whether "Late For the Sky" is sadder than "Fountain of Sorrow." #springtime

I just got to have brunch with @MaryKoCo. #Special #Pretty

I am in this Daily Show thing! http://t.co/xdzug9L3LQ

Hey! I am going to be in a Daily Show thing tonight! Wooooo!!

Chester Arthur at least reformed, but Bliss was a dick to the end. #Garfield

Oh Chester Arthur, you big dumb blob.

Reading a book about Garfield. But couldn't stop wondering about the lemon-sucking. Was is refreshing? An insulting symbolic gesture? #LQs

Why on earth would Roscoe Conkling suck on a lemon in the middle of his nomination of Grant? (Yes, that's my take-away) #LemonQuestions

At the Friar's Club roast for Jack Black, which is a wildly surreal experience.

All my memories are implicit.

Little hippocampus, the seahorse of the brain.

At this rate I'll never use that gift card.

I can't keep up.

For Easter @MPenn got a wad of hair out of the shower drain the size of a mole. #DrainResurrection

Apparently I am just not going to get out of bed. #Easter #NotRisen

Playing a couple of songs on Nick Kroll's show tonight at Largo. Got here early & secreted all the best snacks. #SnackGreed #SeaSaltChips

#MirrorNeurons

It's hard to be a person.

Was just reminded of how great Mario Savio was. #Heroes

Sorry I didn't answer your email, but I was busy reading an important email from "Mr. Lid--The Food Storage Container With An Attached Lid."

Me and @tedleo referenced you on stage last night, @jwoliner. #4Loko #NeverForget

Made it about 45 minutes into the #PhilSpector movie with @timheidecker and @marilyngail and @MPenn. #Yuck

Watching a bunch of episodes of a short-lived show called "Party Down" that I really wish was a long-lived show. #AdamScott

Learning harmonies for @tedleo songs for the #BOTH shows in SF. Not dissimilar to learning Gilbert & Sullivan songs, honestly. #LotOfNotes

It's probably @jonwurster's bedtime right about now. #Jammies

There's a really great analysis of Hogan's Heroes going on over on @heliumcell's facebook page. Love that Bugs Bunny got pulled in.

I mean, if you had a lustrously furred tail, wouldn't you display it proudly? #TailTalk

Answer: "What the holy fuck." Then: "I'd have it removed." Unacceptable!! @MPenn #TailQuestions

Just asked @MPenn if he had a tail, would he a) tuck it in, b) cover it up or c)let it fly freely. And would it make a difference if furred?

Excellent piece of advice over lunch just now from @MPenn to me and @tedleo: "Just say nope!" #Life #Mottos

I hate watching @pattonoswalt get beat up. #Ow

Mixing the #BOTH EP today. Listening to @tedleo's vocals up close and marveling at how consistently ahead of the beat he is. #EarlyBirdTed

If I can get over seeing this backstage, I'll be playing on #Conan (on TBS) tonight at 11:00 with @tedleo: http://t.co/zEdFV9f2eq

WHOA! @morgan_murphy “@tosyandcosh: If only for this, I'm glad Smash was a thing. Megan Hilty covering Wise Up - http://t.co/vd6dOWar29”

...to be clear, the shows I'm doing with @tedleo are just the two of us together, playing each other's songs & songs we wrote together.

I'm seeing a million posts from @kickalert about my upcoming shows with @tedleo that are making it seem like he is playing with his band...

Pat Metheny takes you hippies to jazz school. http://t.co/9Z5JgbIlBb @paulie_be @paulie_be

Boz Scaggs just came over to say hi and he is just so lovely.

I am flat out just drinking this Cherry Coke. Also Jameson's. #PettyFest #Cherries

Hanging out with @paulie_be backstage at the Fillmore. "The felt carnation is the new scarf." http://t.co/VwyuFKNn0P

I never have even 1 drink before a show, but it's Petty Fest, sponsored by Jameson's, with a teleprompter, so... http://t.co/2szqssKHAb

Hey, my pals @ivanandalyosha's debut LP #AllTheTimesWeHad is out...free download of Running For Cover @iTunesMusic http://t.co/5PtcI9C94P

Look at this progged-out Gentle Giant setup @paulie_be has going on for our shows in April: http://t.co/o7GVtTEY1I

The absolute highlight was talking about music vs. comedy with @ConanOBrien & his lovely wife: http://t.co/affhFStkrc

Went to the Vanity Fair party, and here is the forced Robert De Niro-photo-bombing picture I took of me & @MPenn: http://t.co/xV05TjjRrE

Ok he's nuts too.

Jack #nutcup

Turn the vocal up, damn it. # Oscars

This Ted bit makes me feel funny. @tedleo #Oscars

#Yelling #Oscars

However, the headache is totally worth it since I got to go on a date with @MaryKoC & meet @radiomaru & talk to @davidoreilly. #GinThoughts

My hubby @MPenn has always maintained that juniper is a poison. I'm starting to believe it. Btw, I only had ONE martini. #GinQuestions

Why did I drink gin again? Two days later and still have a headache. Also depressed but not sure the gin is entirely responsible. #gintalk

Been practicing bass for some upcoming shows/recording I'm doing with @tedleo. I totally forgot what a MUSCULAR instrument bass is. #ow

Watching DVR'd episodes of 30 Rock that I missed on tour & also I forgot to get dressed or brush my teeth. #HappyValentinesDay

It was really stirring to see the great Jay Bellerose playing on the Levon Helm tribute! #TheBest

Katy Perry saying, "Take that, Bon Iver" was pretty funny, I have to admit. #Grammys

Everyone here coming down firmly in favor of J. Timberlake's performance.

I'm so glad I never have to play a show in the rain #fun.

Me and @timheidecker are pretty disappointed that we can't live-tweet the Grammys. #PST #delay #garbage

Aaaaaannnd, we just lost! BOOOO!!!!

At the Grammys with Gail Marowitz@childorock, my wonderful art director, who was nominated for the Charmer package. http://t.co/8IXc7Lns

Just went to a screening of the Coen Bros new movie "Inside Llewlyn Davis" and it was fucking fantastic. #FolkMusic #Awesome #Cats

I'm kind of in love with Gloria Steinem. #Uppers

Now I'm thinking about Gordon Lightfoot again. @heliumcell

Had dinner with @lianamaeby tonight. When my entree came, we both looked at it and then looked at each other and said, "FOAM!!" #Foam

Ok I'm out. Falling asleep. I tried, @morgan_murphy! #JetLagSmashWatch

WHAT THE HOLY FUCK? @morgan_murphy #SmashWatch

No way I can make it through this two-hour episode. #JetLagSmashWatch

Oh lord, @morgan_murphy keeps saying, "That's us." #SmashWatch

I want to get back to where someone referred to themselves as a "muse." @morgan_murphy #SmashWatch

Me and @morgan_murphy seriously want Jennifer Hudson to play Marilyn now. #SmashWatch

"Everything is terrible. We're just hate-watching the world!" -- @morgan_murphy just now.

Two dorks. @morgan_murphy #SmashWatch http://t.co/pbU0qWZz

Please let this end with someone covered in a cocktail. @morgan_murphy

That dress is a little...see-through. @morgan_murphy #SmashWatch

I totally forgot who slept with who. Did both of them get it on with English dude? @morgan_murphy #SmashWatch

I totally forgot about the Great Peanut Sabotage. @morgan_murphy #SmashWatch

Ok!! Here we go!! SMASH IS STARTING!!! @morgan_murphy is already elbowing me blue. #SmashWatch

Looking over the to-do list I made 2 days ago. What the hell could I POSSIBLY have meant by "Game of Thrones"? Never seen it! #jetlagstupor

I almost wish I was sick again, with one of those long, Dickensian fevers that make kindly strangers to take you in, instead of dumb jetlag.

Its so nice and quiet at 4:00am, I mean creepy. #jetlag

Now that I'm home & have wifi again I just watched this Yo La Tengo video for "I'll Be Around" & HOLY FUCK http://t.co/N9HminBY

At least I haven't been traveling for the last 21 hours. #FlightFun

I tried to take a picture of me and the band and @tedleo with the Dublin audience tonight: http://t.co/UIe8B7Yd

This is so my new jam..."@timheidecker: BOB DYLAN'S SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW LEAKED - http://t.co/1EvOnkAP”

Playing in Glasgow tonight at Celtic Connections...come early for @tedleo at 7:30, I'll be joining him on some songs!

"To go back to the Hobbit now is to kind of devolve the story..."-serious Hobbit nerd discussion happening here between @paulie_be & @tedleo

I'm so happy to be online backstage at the Belgium venue that I am going to tweet at @tedleo from the NEXT SEAT OVER. #Hi #HaveACracker

I'm in Amsterdam now & have had pretty much zero wifi on this tour so far & it is driving me nuts. How ever am I to post dumb pics?

That was an intensely fun show in Berlin tonight. What a great audience. Viel Spass!! #IchLiebeDeutschland

I just put on a shade of eyeshadow called "Hustle," so today should really shape up to be something.

Just finished an incredibly fun show in Malmö. Now me & the band are drinking Dr. Pepper with Jameson's we stole from @tedleo's room.

Today @tedleo was my hero, ordering soup for me IN SWEDISH. #cold http://t.co/Ia4H030z

Backstage Göteborg snack table. http://t.co/9ffjN2qf

Keep trying to upload the picture of me & @Gibbstack and @StephenAtHome but it won't go...well, it made it on Instagram. (@realaimeemann)

Me and @StephenAtHome and @Gibbstack backstage at the Colbert Show last night. Picture not showing my worshipful babbling to full effect.

So happy and grateful to have gotten a chance to play with the great @Gibbstack, @tedleo & @jonwurster & meet the incredible @StephenAtHome.

Um, @StephenAtHome just came into the green room in his shorts and it was possibly the most exciting moment of my life.

At the Colbert show with @Gibbstack & @tedleo & @jonwurster, and I couldn't be more excited. LOVE @StephenAtHome. #Thrilled

TOMORROW! On the Stephen Colbert show! I am singing a duet with @Gibbstack from his solo record, & @tedleo & @jonwurster are playing! Watch!

Trying to convince a friend of mine that grapefruit juice could indeed be served hot, in some kind of punch form, without being disgusting.

Just realized what a hellishly music nerd tweet that last one was, sorry!

There's a bunch of packing I have to do but I'd rather analyze this song I'm playing bass on, heavy on the VIm and with some bVII surprises.

It's Laughing Stock...so odd and interesting and weirdly meandering... #TalkTalk

Listening to this WEIRD album by Talk Talk. #weird #moody

Finally getting over my cold & attributing that to @jodify & @tedleo forcing a juice concoction called a "Face Melter" on me. #Disgusting

I watched @timheidecker's movie "The Comedy" last night, and he is unbelievably good in it. See it if you haven't yet. It's great.

Missing dog in Silverlake! http://t.co/uZA4eJnL

It is so difficult for me to learn someone else's song that I'm patting myself on the back for remembering ANY of my own. #Dumbie

Out shopping with @morgan_murphy and impressed with her restraint at not Instagramming a picture of me in a leather bra. #maturity

Just now @jonwurster said I was "disgusting" because I said the word "wienie."

Jesus Christ, I've been sick for like a million years and I can't stand it anymore.

Just finished watching @birbigs' fantastic "Sleepwalk With Me" and REALLY loved it. #Yay #SoGood

Tonight @timheidecker & @MPenn are playing DJ: Ken Nordine, Steeleye Span, Jackson C Frank, Danielson Family, @nadasurf, Dusty Springfield.

The tommy-gun is a replica that belonged to my brother-in-law Chris.

Christmas dinner! Presidents! Champagne! Lipstick! Cc: @timheidecker @morgan_murphy @marilyngail @MPenn http://t.co/Io7PlTtD

Drinking Tabasco in hot water as has been recommended for my cold and now I am entirely on fire. #NotChristmassyAtAll

"This is unwatchable."-me, followed by "I have to see Bea Arthur." #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Just commented that this Star Wars Holiday thing didn't seem very Christmassy & had both @MPenn & @JohnLovick turn & yell "It's LIFE DAY!!"

The Chewbacca family chunk is ETERNAL.

Ok, now we're watching the Star Wars Holiday Special. Do I I even need to tell you how bananas THIS one is?

Totally using "doorbell ringing" gag to introduce guests on my next Xmas show. #CarpentersChristmas

Watching Carpenter's Xmas thing on YouTube & getting hosed by Part 3 being totally out of sync. @MPenn watching VERY reluctantly.

Now watching the Carpenters Christmas Special and it is BANANAS.

"Hagsggddhhfjfjjffhdfhfjfjfhfhfjfjfjgjfjgjjggjjgfjggjgjhgjgjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjf"--text I just got from someone with a three-year-old.

Christmas dinner is really enlivened by a participant's failing hearing aids. #Yelling

My Bestie sent me a Christmas card and I heart him 4ever. http://t.co/KZTOiERY

I am married to someone who will not watch this with me. #BahHumbug https://t.co/MD9xRgI0!

This Satie isn't helping things, pal.

RT the obnoxious @reply to me or just block? Sigh. These are the tough decisions one makes on twitter.

There's nothing I like more than a jazzy, full-orchestral version of "Sleigh Ride." #WhipCracks

Thank you, David Gregory, for saying that a feeling is not a fact.

Ok, watching now. Honestly, LaPierre seems legit crazy. OH UGH THERE'S THE SPITTLE GROSS!

Really upset that I missed seeing LaPierre exhibit his crazy-ass self on Meet The Press today.

I have well over 500 emails that I have left to lie there, untouched, for months and months. What the hell happened to me? #TourBrain

If you guys have not discovered the musical version of A Christmas Carol starring Albert Finney then I just feel sorry for you. #TheBestCC

Lying in bed with @morgan_murphy and watching NBC Boxing and digging the @FreddieRoach commentary.

"Clackity."

I have to RT something that I apologize in advance for, but it is awesome in its horribleness.

Sore throat and no sleep. #sigh

Not much just reading an awesome email where I get called beautiful @MaryKoCo @andylevy #notbyandy

It is always now. https://t.co/dhWLoJol #SamHarris Thanks, @paulie_be.

Just got strong armed by @timheidecker into RTing his tweet. Was just going to favorite, but he said, "RTing's where the money's at." #RTfax

OK, the Best Show podcast is still going on, but I might have to call it a day. Coming down with something. Sympathetic #4LokoHangover!

Oh, yay for @tedleo doing Partridge Family!!! #BestShowFakeLiveTweets

Ok, now @tedleo is doing some insane Hanukkah/Bowie thing that is seriously BLOWING OUR MINDS. #BestShowFakeLiveTweets

I'm really glad @hodgman is speaking out on behalf of all of us anti-Dune people. #Worms #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

You really can hear the 4Loko kicking in now. Only @hodgman is keeping it together. #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

I feel like @julieklausner is starting to sound a little drunk now. #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

We're at the 4Loko consumption assessment. Let me state that ANYONE WHO DRINKS MORE THAN HALF A CAN IS INSANE. #DrinkFullOfDarkSecrets

Damn it, I think I'm getting sick again. #4LokoContactHighMaybe

"I'm interested in your story and I honor your journey." -David Rees #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

I think I've decided to come down firmly in FAVOR of "Wonderful Christmastime." #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

Lot of chatting going on in this room now...getting distracted. #ohNo! #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

"Nice people are the worst." -- @DJRotaryRachel

We are loving the #NerdsMockingNerds thing that is going on here. #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

We're kind of napping through Spike's call. @DJRotaryRachel @tedleo #HeavyMetaltalk

Now @tedleo is bragging about interviewing Brooke Shields. #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

This is the old-skool 4Loko, too. It's been aging in @scharpling's basement lo these many years. #4Loko #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

A drink that hides the fact it is getting you hammered from even YOU. But don't kid yourself. You will pay. #4Loko #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

It's not like the jury is OUT on 4Loko. It is death in a cold, fizzy, TheraFlu-tasting can. #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

I honestly can't believe @tedleo would drink something so disgusting. #BlueRaspberry4Loko #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

Lot of #HamBurns on this song. #FakeLiveTweetBestShow @tedleo

Even though @morgan_murphy is here, she is not tweeting apparently, because Sparkle. #sad #FakeLiveTweetBestShow

About to fake-live-tweet the Best Show on WFMU with @DJRotaryRachel! Here we go!

Watching "Jesus Camp. Ugghhgnnnnngggghhhh. @paulie_be

Also! Me and James Mercer are on @jimmykimmel tonight! It's a repeat but you don't know that.

Met with @paulie_be today to play him some new songs & listen to some Thin Lizzy and talk about doing some more recording soon. #Yeah #Yuh

Me & @DJRotaryRachel were so bummed we missed @scharpling & the Best Show tonight that we're going to fake-live-tweet it together Thursday.

I'm at Meltdown about to do a podcast with @GregBehrendt and @daveanthony. I tried to hug Dave...it didn't go well. #Sad #Stiff

We must commence this campaign to get @taylorswift13 to get @scharpling to direct her next video with @jonwurster as her love interest.

I want to see @scharpling direct a video for @taylorswift13 where she is dating @jonwurster. #Please #MakeThisHappen

Hey, @taylorswift13! Get @scharpling to direct your next video! We got #2 video of the year in TIME! http://t.co/kmx48uGs #HeIsGreat

Hey, @taylorswift! Get @scharpling to do your next video for you! We got #2 video of the year in TIME! http://t.co/kmx48uGs #HeIsAwesome

Everybody check out @scharpling's great list of ideas for gifts, it is great only partly because my record is on it. #giftideas

I'm drinking port. #Classy

Just saw "Lincoln," which made me remember how fantastically uneducated I am about history things. #Dumbie

I've used #hashtag in a VOICE message. “@drewodoherty: Please RT if you have ever used a #hashtag in a text message.”

Word. “@VirgoNation: #Virgos are very selective when choosing a lover. You're something special if they chose you.”

Fuck it, at least I can throw some money at it: http://t.co/ih7nyrlI #DoIt

Tell it like it is, @daveanthony.

Just did an interview with the delightful John Millar for my show in Glasgow & now I can't wait to play there, even in JANUARY. #coldbutwarm

Ok, NOW someone just added me to a list called "Suspected Lizard People." HOW DO THEY KNOW THIS?!

Someone just added me to a list they named "Degenerate Artists." #proud

People, obviously I am hating the idea of crap in food, not A STORY EXPOSING IT.

I hate this kind of shit: http://t.co/x6oomEbm

Someone just suggested to me that I wear a Santa suit instead of pajamas and now that is all I can think about to wear on the bus. #PaJantas

I had a dream last night in which I told @billyeichner I loved him. #gaycrush

Why on earth did I get the idea that a coffee would be "refreshing"? #notrefreshed

When I think of @johnkrasinski I think of a great actor and also the person who had to tell me what "brb" meant. #knowledge

Dudes, Billy Joel is bringing it.

Look what @jonwurster got for me from a gas station men's room: http://t.co/g2nQigmv

“@blurginit: @aimeemann @tedleo @jackfagan @maggieserota @jakefogelnest @julieklausner Legs for Miles #GooseNewsLetter http://t.co/bIRkV30K”

Went to a screening of @billyeichner's "Billy on the Street" and I loved it SO MUCH. #theBest

Damn it, @jonwurster is eating my "frites." http://t.co/iFkl97kr

SPIN calls @scharpling Director of the Year for his awesome videos! I could not be more excited about this!! http://t.co/64T6k3GP

Sugarplum Fairy played on glass harp...SO LOVELY. http://t.co/CKccbYFw

Mention of Fonz statue looks like it's staying in. Handing it over to @tedleo for final determination. #CoWrite #NewSong #LeoMannRockin'

Just started a new song. So far there's a mention of Milwaukee's statue of the Fonz in it. That probably won't stay. #BronzFonz

Jesus Christ, that fight was insane. JJM has always been my favorite fighter, but man...that was a shocker. #PacMarquez

Can't live tweet the fight because we're about 20 minutes behind. #tivo #Gamboa

(It's "Honesty Is No Excuse.") #ThinLizzy #YuhYuhYuhYuhYuh

I can't stop listening to this one Thin Lizzy song. #NeverThoughtIdSayThat

I bet you never knew what $2,000 headphones looked like before. #HolyCripes http://t.co/rU3gPapN

Just had @kevinseccia ask me if it was true my blood once tested positive for gravy. #FatMeetsBoxingJoke

@csunstei "Nudge" is a pretty awful word. #NotAsBadAsNapkin

Double harmony guitar solos are going to be ALL OVER the Leo/Mann record. @UncleDynamite @pulmyears @tedleo #DirtyWork #Reeling #YuhYuhYuh

Confession: I like Steely Dan. Come at me with your long knives, @tedleo!

This could be my favorite song from the new Dylan record. Thanks @timheidecker for pointing it out: http://t.co/OEyFlbgz #DylanRulez

I will sign any petition that Bernie Sanders puts in front of me, pretty much.

Just had dinner with @csunstei and @MPenn and @timheidecker. Topics: twitter, Rolling Stone magazine, Andy Kaufman, czars, and John Wayne.

Was going to turn on the news this morning but @pattonoswalt was on Comedy Central so I watched that instead. Much better start to the day.

BRAG ALERT: I just found out we were nominated for a Grammy for the package for "Charmer"! Art director Gail Marowitz did it! #SheIsGreat

Really looking forward to my friend Cass Sunstein' tweeting. He's a newbie so don't goad him into saying anything undignified. #FF @csunstei

It's not like I didn't know what to expect, but no one can prepare you for the rollercoaster that Marty & Elayne are. @MaryKoCo @MPenn

We had dinner first and it was nice...then we watched some of the show. I've never said "what the eff" so much in my life. #Wtf #seriously

Went to see Marty & Elayne for the first time with @MaryKoCo and @MPenn and @DannyZuker...it was a good old-fashioned tweet-up! #twitters

There is almost zero chance I am going to buy any Christmas presents this year. #Exhausted #Grinchy

YouTubing Thin Lizzy...I SORT of feel if we put @tedleo in the right wig & 'stache & oiled up his chest we could really be on to something.

Listening to Thin Lizzy.

Uh, oh. I almost sent that DM as a tweet. #ClassicTwitterDisasters

It's not like it hasn't been said before, but man alive, is Homeland fantastic. Catching up in all our tivo'd episodes. #homeland #4InARow

Eff this shizznit, I'm going to work on new stuff. #WritingDownChordsThisTime

I'm trying to figure out the chords to two songs, one of them my OWN, and it is impossible. I guess I'll eat some candy instead.

I know I'm sick in bed and all, but my level of online dicking around has really hit a new low today. #BusPig #BusCat #FozenPillows #Eggnog

Ok, enough Xmas music, it's time for Brutalist Bricks. #GetThisSickbedpartyStarted

I don't understand what kind of illness gives me a temperature of 97 degrees. Am I still alive? #Exhausted

Sick in bed again and listening to the awesome new @jonathancoulton and @johnroderick Xmas record. #XmasLove

To be clear: I have a water filter at home, but we are pretty dependent on bottled water on the road. Bus water is not potable.

Also, I'm on here to talk about water and which ones are hateful. #dasani

Look, I'm just on twitter to make sure @tedleo is not on here dicking around when he should be working on a song we are writing together.

My pals Derek and Helder in Entertainment Weekly...making magic cool again. http://t.co/ylv0RK8Q

Sometimes people are nice and cheer you right up. #Yay #Hugs #notandylevy

Here's that piece in the New Yorker where I talk about #happiness: http://t.co/9zt8Nm0T

Let's see, which of my 204 emails will I continue to ignore today?

There is a thing about me in this issue of the New Yorker where I talk about happiness yes I know I am laughing ironically too shut up

We seem to be watching it again. #Help #lizanddick

Jesus they are both so obsessed with weight, is there going to be a bulimia segment I don't know about? #lizanddick

Wow they literally spelled it out. #lizanddick

I was not remotely as big a baby about losing an Oscar as Burton. #boohoo

Yelling! #lizanddick

I get the feeling the phrase "It is what it is" was said a lot in the editing room. #lizanddick

He carried her all the way to the hospital! #strong #lizanddick

Really thrown by the Pampers commercial. #lizanddick

"No more lies!" "OR wire hangers!" says @MPenn. #lizanddick

Very cheerful adultery music!! #lizanddick

Leg bruises!!! Leg bruises!!! #lizanddick

Pretty excited by seeing Creed Bratton is in the cast! #lizanddick

Ok, the tweeting begins...the level of excitement in this room is palpable. @campsucks gave us all copies of the Richard Burton Diaries!!

My husband @MPenn just announced to me that his new catchphrase for our marriage is going to be, "Why do I stay?" #MarriageCatchphrases

Collaborating on a song with my pal @tedleo and I'm pretty excited about it...seeing how other writers work is a great adventure. #BestJob

Pretty sure a close-up of a vagina just followed me. #WhatTheHolyFuck

“@MaryKoCo: @aimeemann Thx! #NogQuestions 👓 #Nutmeg 🌰 #Hi ❤” Hi! @andylevy #hi

Me and @MPenn outraged by the 2012 Dog Show winner. #creepyface #nobeardsondogd

If I am sick, eggnog is probably the worst thing I could drink, right? Especially if it's loaded with booze? #NogQuestions

"Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters." Go ahead and see if you can listen without crying, I dare you.

Nap. Shower. This is the best I can do right now.

How private beliefs inform political choices: http://t.co/uiWEITqj

Yep. Sick.

I am also grateful for the friends I made under weird and sometimes difficult circumstances this year. Crazy brings people together!

I am grateful for my #dumbie friends.

"I saw Santa in a bathing suit." THIS IS JUST GROSS. #parade #off #Imdone

I just cursed a bad curse at a parade puppet chicken. Why do I still have this on? @MPenn just said he was going to kill himself. #killmetoo

I hate that I'm one of those people that hates the parade. But come on. #yuck

Watching Intervention with @morgan_murphy and @MPenn and we all want to punch the addict's parents. #suck

Today my main activity was Sick.

Pretty sure I'm about to come down with my traditional "end-of-tour" cold. Often confused with "not-ready-for-holidays" cold. #ugh

Surely some of you @tedleo fans out there filmed me and Ted singing his new song "The Gambler"...come on! SOMEONE MUST HAVE! #Gambler

Please watch @jimmykimmel tonight on ABC at 12:00 because I am going to be on it!

I just did 10 (lady) pushups, having been shamed by the idea of @tedleo doing pushups on a disgusting motel carpet. #weak

WOO, I am going to be singing on Jimmy Kimmel tonight with JAMES MERCER CHECK IT OUT WOOO!!

Feeling terrible for @tedleo out there on the road with no #bus or Band of Idiots to keep him company. We are with you in spirit, Bro! #hugz

I am on the plane to LA and celebrating having ACTUALLY GOTTEN A GUITAR INTO THE OVERHEAD BIN. #SmallVictories

Ok, I'm sorry to say it, but that might have been the best show of the tour! #iHeartMinneapolis

What the hell, tour?? First you seemed like you were never going to end, and then suddenly you're OVER?! NOT COOL. @tedleo #TourTweets

Last show of the tour! First Avenue, come see @tedleo, he goes on at 7:00 & I'm playing a song with him because he is awesome. #DoIt

Goodness gracious, here is a trailer for a movie I am in, "Please To Meet Me"! http://t.co/NcoLKYVE

That was a great audience. @tedleo #QualityCrowd

Hey come see this guy play with me at the Stoughton Opera House tonight! I will sing a song with him! @tedleo http://t.co/3xzGMBGw

I got to sing and play bass last night on a fantastic @tedleo song. So proud of myself for not fucking it up! #win #didit

Trying to learn this song of @tedleo's so I can play it with him tonight...hope I don't fuck it up. #YOLO

STOP IT “@VirgoNation: #Virgos do not readily show their feelings and may have a hard time putting away painful memories of the past.”

FUK U “@VirgoNation: #Virgos frequently say they're "Alright" to cover a lot of confused &neurotic feelings they don't feel like examining.”

Just had @tedleo offer his "beatbox" services for a radio thing we're doing tomorrow. #notagooddevelopment

Me and @tedleo doing a shot-by-shot remake of this. Please convince @scharpling to get in on it. http://t.co/cESZq1HB

Also the sound was 1/2 the volume previews had been, so we kept thinking the music from the movie next door was part of the score. @tedleo

We were also pretty distracted by the seats in front of us being negative-three inches from our knees. #Argo @tedleo

Went to see Argo yesterday with @tedleo. The best part about it was the frosty Mr. Pibb sitting in the cup holder next to me. #MrPibb

Sometimes the hardest thing I do is refraining from telling people I love them.

Wow, I LOVED the audience at the Pabst tonight. You guys were aweeeeeesome!!!!

I cannot resist the urge to tweet at @tedleo from one chair over backstage at the Pabst Theater. #TweetCompulsion

So I offer you "The Great Man Broods About Sausages," instead. @tedleo http://t.co/69o93ImO

Me and @tedleo tried to take a hilarious "irony photo" with the Fonz statue but it was so hideous we immediately deleted it. #Tures

"No one wants to see teeth on a statue."-- @tedleo about the Fonz.

"The chief sign of one who feels hopeless is his striving to force happiness or success."--a thing I read just now.

Time for an in-bus @tedleo tweet.

Tonight @tedleo showed me what a real hero looks like. #VenueShower

IT'S FOR WEAR, STOP ASKING. http://t.co/Kc1nJGBa

Me and @tedleo just walked past a guy in a GG Allin Tshirt and got the Nod of Recognition! @jonwurster #fudge

“@VirgoNation: #Virgos are hard to fool. They are very good at picking up on what is really going on and putting together clues.” EVENTUALLY

Sitting next to @tedleo on the bus. He's kind of muttering to himself. #weird

The only way I know you care is by favoriting my tweets, so let's get going, buddy.

Thank you guys so much for a great night! #Cincinnati #Hugs

ARGGHHHH!!! http://t.co/lMv88Dxc

Hi.

Ok, @tedleo just showed around a picture of something so un-good that I will not even try to describe it. #gun #bong #phallus #flames

Video: http://t.co/LHgKoILl

The song "Afternoon Delight" started the discussion, but the lyric "I want to love you when I rub it" finished it. @tedleo #NoRub

Back on the bus driving to Cincinnati. ME and @tedleo discussing whether the word "rub" should ever appear in a song lyric. Unanimous "NO."

Good night, helpful friends. Love you. @tedleo @MaryKoCo

I refuse to acknowledge Gene Simmons as a Virgo. @tedleo @NekoCase @joanhiller

So sad to leave you, Columbus! I love you! #YouKnow

Back at the hotel & @tedleo's room is right under mine & he is BLASTING KISS songs. #ComeOnMan #RoomService #TurnItDown

It is very hard for me to not get depressed when friends are sick/in trouble/off the rails/delusional. Grateful for @tedleo's sane presence.

New video for "Soon Enough" starring @timheidecker, who co-wrote the song with me! http://t.co/LhvAxYiY

My hero Joe Biden is going to be on Parks and Rec!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #SoExciting #HappyWarrior

Having gotten HAMMERED on 1.5 drinks, @tedleo has kindly donated a coconut water to the cause of sobering me up. #saint

...dude who knew more about the Pacific Islands ca. WWII than anyone could have imagined...and the dirty martini...it was like a DREAM.

I just had literally the best touring experience of my life. Between @tedleo's stories of his family & the narcoleptic dude at the bar...

"I used to have a really great pajama game. I even experimented with nightshirts."--@tedleo @PFTompkins #PAUL

FUCK YEAH, COLUMBUS! @tedleo http://t.co/JLgcVFpS

Me and @tedleo totally bonding over @VirgoNation tonight. #pals #virgos @NekoCase #OneOfUs

I know, I know, it is annoying to see astrology RTs. Just keep scrolling. #virgos @tedleo @NekoCase

There's nothing like making a peanut butter sandwich in a hotel room with a Swiss army knife to give you that "hobo" feeling.

Ok, we're crossing the Canadian border, and I am going to go right to sleep when we're done. Good night, guys. Hugs all around. #Obamaheart

This guy's bringing in some planes later. #MSNBC #Headphones

HERE HE IS.

Very grateful to have @tedleo here. Just being near people who care, who try--it MATTERS. It MATTERS how you think and what you believe.

I better see Ryan's abs.

In answer to your question, Universe--everything right now is perfect. Thank you.

I had a seriously special and wonderful time playing in Toronto tonight and got to see my President elected right as I got off stage. #BEST

The water in the hotel shower was luke-cool so I hope Toronto appreciates the matted-hair-tour-bus look.

Hey, guys, I'm in Canada for the election, please no spoilers til I get back to LA on the 18th, ok? Thanks. #NoSpoilers

Just washed two pairs of socks and two pairs of underwear in the hotel sink. #Glamor

They will refund your tickets, but I really would have rather been playing! Argh!

Hey, NYC fans...I'm so terribly sorry, but the Bowery doesn't have a date for us to come back for a make-up show...I feel awful!

Follow this one! @MaryKoCo

Ok, out and out bragging--I'm on HuffPo! http://t.co/MZIuS9Zl

Our tribute to Sandy! http://t.co/BJgMpQFl

Hey @StephenMerchant, this is that magic show we went to, it's going to be at the Geffen Playhouse: http://t.co/x07Szq1t

People of Los Angeles, you must see this show, it is incredible. http://t.co/x07Szq1t

Backstage comparing hipbone guitar abrasions with @tedleo.

Another Cary Tennis column, hitting the nail on the head. http://t.co/D9Qdk0Im

I'm about to see @tedleo in his pajamas. #FirstNightOnBus

Sometimes twitter is just a real heartache delivery system.

For people stranded in NYC with tickets to the Bowery show who couldn't come last night, we are still working on a rescheduled show, sorry!

People of Williamsburg: thank you for a sweet and uplifting evening. You are the anti-disaster! Hugs!!

Hey, my producer Paul Bryan @paulie_be has a new website, he & it are awesome so check it out! http://t.co/I2qlmc0y

We are trying to reschedule the Bowery show for next week, so you could come to that instead! But it is not figured out yet! #sorry!

Once again, I am playing at the Williamsburg Music Hall tomorrow and tickets for both the Bowery show & the MHOW show will be honored. AND--

SO NOT DO, SO NOT DO, GODDAMN IT IPHONE HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TELL YOU?!

We're working on rescheduling to play at the Bowery next week, if you can't get to Williamsburg. Whew! #sorrytimesamillion

Ok, here it is: I'm playing tomorrow at the Williamsburg Music Hall & both Williamsburg tickets AND Bowery tickets will be honored. AND...

Hey, I think the show tomorrow is still not a definite...so sorry, I am trying to keep you guys informed but there is a lot of juggling...

If we do two tomorrow, it will probably be in Williamsburg, since the power is still out in lower Manhattan.

I think they are considering an option of doing two shows tomorrow? But not sure where that would be. I'll keep you posted.

So sorry to report that my show in Williamsburg tonight is canceled...I guess they were just afraid no one could get there. Argh!!

Hey everyone, we're trying to figure out if the show is on for tonight...I'll tweet as soon as I know anything for sure.

Has anyone heard from @scharpling? If so let me know.

You can't use logic on crazy.

You know, I'm mocking it like everyone else, but I'll be damned if I can stop yelling "FRANKENSTORM!!" every 15 minutes.

Found a coffee shop open that had GLUTEN-FREE MUFFINS. Could not be more excited. #EasilyPleased

Spending Sandytime in hotel room listening to podcasts. Right now it's Best Show Gems http://t.co/PDaGpl3S.

Ok, so Bowery is canceled for tonight and we are moving it to Wednesday...so sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you can all make it Wed.!

Listening to @timheidecker on @marcmaron's http://t.co/RGCfWmJs...awesome.

Hey, we still don't know if the Bowery show tomorrow is going to be canceled...I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything. #Sandy

I just had a fun & interesting & inspiring conversation with Neil LaBute about happiness at the Rudin Museum. I love my life! #happiness

The talk at the Rubin Museum is still on! Come on down while the trains are still running!

Was looking for an emojii of a gourd and then I thought, "There're no gourds in Japan." � is close though!

Town Hall tonight with the great @tedleo! He goes on at 8:00, DON'T MISS IT.

Heading to New York today. I guess I should start looking for an umbrella.

Man, it's hard to see people struggle, even when they're awful.

Cary Tennis is so great sometimes: http://t.co/D9Qdk0Im

Holy crap, this is good: http://t.co/uYLWyRAI

This is SO GREAT! @lenadunham "Your First Time." http://t.co/w2TKTFUy

A great interview with @tedleo about the state of the music business, and the tour we are doing together right now! http://t.co/WW16OxhC

My pal @timheidecker is in a movie called "The Comedy" & he is great, check it out: http://t.co/XkfYmBnH

Ben Gibbard in Rolling Stone on his new solo record, and he mentions ME YAY! http://t.co/dLntZosc

I love how I say "I'll sleep in" as if that's ever a thing that happens.

I had a really fun time playing the Birchmere tonight; what a great audience. But man, am I insanely tired! Not sure if that means sleep...

All my tour info is on my website, http://t.co/Ii3BmkMe...

First show of the east coast tour tonight at the Birchmere! Come on down, the fantastic @tedleo is opening and goes on at 7:30!

Right when I'm back there....BOOOOOO.

Thank you @jimmyfallon for having me on your show! I send you hugs and kisses!

Oh, my God, I am not nearly as out of tune as I thought I was. Whew! IT'S A MIRACLE!!

ARGGHHHHH! NERVOUS!!

You guys are nice. But I'm always so nervous on TV and nervous makes it hard to sing well. Fingers crossed!

Watching Fallon. Please God, let me not look/sound terrible.

It's hard to watch people's lives fall apart, even when it's their own doing. #ShatteredGlass

Watching that movie "Shattered Glass" on HBO while I'm waiting to go back to Fallon. "Stop pitching, Steve--it's over." #PeopleAreSad

I'm at the Jimmy Fallon show today! Love him.

Happy Birthday to @morgan_murphy WOOOOO!!!

TAKE THE TORCH!! ALSO THIS PITCHFORK.

Mitt's in his end-of-round flurry.

Manipulating currency again! I am too dumb to know what this thing is about!

Just blocked another person, this time at their request...I appreciate a heads up.

Not a fan of personal stories from anyone.

AHHHHHRGGHHH WE ARE FOUR YEARS CLOSER TO DOOOOOM!!! Apparently.

Come on, "horses and bayonets" is pretty great.

COME ON OUR WEBSITE!

Veering wildly off topic.

"Time zone...language...opportunities!"

Back to jobs.

Yay, I just blocked someone!

Danger of finding Romney likable completely passed.

I'm terrified that my Stockholm Syndrome is going to make me find Romney likable.

IT'S ON!! So excited! (Not really that excited.)

"He over-inflated what is known as the vestibular sac in his blowhole." Whale makes human sounds. http://t.co/HDU1h4pA

Ugh, @kevinseccia just used the term "flabby, undulating tentacle" to me on Gchat.

I had a great time talking with Ron @theIbang today!

Yeah. It's depressing.

What a surprise, @kevinseccia's plate has been cleaned. http://t.co/tnZJLFdG

Back in NY. Hi!

Super-controlled people always feel super-vulnerable to me.

Me and @mpenn listening to a song by @pulmyears and totally digging it!

Oh my god @tedleo there's a HUGE SPIDER IN YOUR HAIR!! AHAHAHAHA FREAKED YOU OUT!!

Get me some new, young blood, damn it! http://t.co/AUgnVKsL

Need new head shot for Women Binder.

Just had dinner with @StephenMerchant who STANDS UP FOR & DEFENDS THE CONTINUED USE OF "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" as a comedy device! #shocking

Had lunch with @bnacker. We had a symposium on what comedy constructions must reluctantly be said goodbye to. Also shared saag paneer.

Aw, @ChrisWillman wrote this very nice review of my LA show! http://t.co/RR1Dobd2

Oh, yeah? Well, look at some pictures of baby bats in blankets and THEN let's talk. http://t.co/uxENgVEF

Told @MPenn about argument; he says straight man's role is to act as propellant to humor without necessarily being funny in & of himself.

Got into an argument with @StephenMerchant backstage when I told him he was a great straight man. He thinks S-man is like a "sidekick."

We had a fantastic time playing at the Wilshire Ebell tonight...last show of the west coast leg, & last show with @_FieldReport. #sadface

Just got to meet some seriously sweet fans backstage & then see some of the wonderful @_FieldReport. #LoveMyLife

Yep, tickets at the door.

Hey! I am playing in LA tonight at the Wilshire Ebell! Come to see me and the great opening band @_FieldReport! Show starts at 8:00!

I went to the hotel gym exactly once in the last 17 days of touring. #Athlete

Not only that, it was gluten-free toast.

Just got excited about toast.

I just called someone to tell them I was an idiot.

I had the best time tonight in Santa Fe! Thank you to everyone who came out! Now we're on the bus, driving to Arizona.

This is the greatest fight since Corrales v. Castillo.

Finally, a hotel that understands what a depressed traveler REALLY needs--a sturdy overhead beam! http://t.co/XrydlIRL

Oooh, Milo Greene!

Denver, you dear sweet audience, you were the greatest!! Hugs!!

Serious oversight not having a skull emoticon.

It's a Day of Second Guessing.

Which was the dumb one, the ant or the grasshopper? Did one wear a top hat? I bet he was the dumb one. No offense to @MPenn.

I just don't have it in me to tweet appropriately today.

Here's a review of Charmer in Wired that I have to admit I really like! Because they like it! http://t.co/3WuBkAfO

I LOVE SALT LAKE CITY AND THE PEOPLE IN IT!!

I've got Jim Croce's "I've Got a Name" stuck in my head and @paulie_be has "9 to 5" stuck in his. Arguing about which is worst.

For those who have been asking, I am going to be playing in both Canada and the UK...tour dates on http://t.co/7WGPnNFL. See you there!

People of Salt Lake City! I invite you to come see me play at the State Room tonight and ALSO TOMORROW! @_FieldReport open & they are great!

Fantastic animated "Why Obama Now." Please RT! http://t.co/tZnMv0bL

"You had house money, and you couldn't hold onto it. You had to put it down."-@scharpling, telling me how it is.

Just now @jonwurster said to me, "I don't know my cock from my doodle doo." #notcool #vulgar #catchy

I co-wrote a song with Steve Vai for his solo record, here it is! http://t.co/hPpbsHyg

He said, "It's like abstract painting." For some reason that made me understand it, and after that, I always liked jazz.

I never liked jazz until Peter Wolf explained it to me.

There is no upside to picking a fight with a shadow.

Thank you, people of Boise! You were a small but mighty crowd, and I kiss you all good night.

Hey, I'm playing at the Egyptian Theater tonight in Boise, please come down!

Hey! Here's an interview I did recently on Spinner! http://t.co/737BAIno

Oh, Seattle, I am so sad to leave you. Thank you for a wonderful evening. I WILL MISS YOU TERRIBLY.

What?! It's over already!? No one said anything!!

Mitt's kind of using his "bedroom voice."

I get to watch some of the debates, yay! Or maybe "yay" isn't really the word.

Stop pretending that raw broccoli isn't disgusting.

People of Seattle! I hate to tear you away from the fun of the debates, but I am playing in YOUR TOWN tonight!

PORTLAND YOU WERE SO GREAT THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Today the internet gave me a picture of a dog named Daisy cuddling with a white rat. COME ON.

Wooo, I'm in the Wall Street Journal!! http://t.co/CoFRrt8V

Thank you to @thebinglounge for having me today! And I loved meeting all the sweet people there!

Nap.

I'm almost certain I can find both a coffee and a bookstore in this town.

Day off!

They're making nachos and guac on the bus. I have the best crew. Can't wait til @tedleo gets in on this action!

Come down to the Uptown Theater tonight! The awesome @_FieldReport is opening, and John Doe sings a duet with me!

Now that I know what YOLO means if you think I am not going to use it constantly to irritate everyone I know you are sadly mistaken.

Sure, I ate their eggs, but I don't think that is the problem.

These chickens I'm listening to are not relaxing.

I can't even tell you how awesome the audience was at the Fillmore tonight. I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU.

Playing tonight at the Fillmore! The wonderful Field Report goes on at 9:00; don't miss them!

Enjoying a nice glass of wine in a plastic cup on the bus with my band.

Thank you, people of Santa Cruz! You were awesome! Xo

At the Santa Cruz Rio Theater tonight with the fantastic @_FieldReport , come on by!

Thank you to everyone who came out to the @coach_house tonight! You were so great! Hugs!

First show of the tour tonight, at the Coach House!

My mind is like a dog that I have to keep yelling at for jumping on the couch.

"Why ruin a single moment when you can ruin a whole evening?"--@joehenrymusic, about something I forgot already. #tired

No matter how alone I may feel, I take comfort in the fact that @UncleDynamite probably knows what plus-fours are.

I think my cat just DM'd someone.

Sooner or later, my brain will make me think a bad idea is a good idea.

You have to admit that if you saw Santa Claus actually coming down the chimney you'd freak the fuck out, presents or no presents.

GO SEE THE MASTER IT'S GREAT

Was just talking to @paulie_be about his new bass and was subjected to the term "tummy cut." #horrible

Aw, thanks so much to everyone who has been saying nice things about my record and the new video!

Support indie stores! There's a special 7" with unreleased tracks if you buy Charmer at an indie store, find one here: http://t.co/MRwgryhP

The new video features Jon Hamm and Jon Wurster. YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY! http://t.co/ARLDNtbI

NEW VIDEO FOR LABRADOR!! http://t.co/ARLDNtbI

WOOO MY NEW RECORD IS OUT TOMORROW AND A NEW @scharpling VIDEO TOO!!!

The Moose of Salvation! http://t.co/dRHM6VQi

My record is out TOMORROW! And I'm doing an instore at Barnes & Noble at the Grove at 7:00 tomorrow, come by! http://t.co/Eow3SzEd

Yay, I'm on Morning Edition with @NPRinskeep, take a listen! http://t.co/sCVIggHJ

Hey, I'm in Salon! http://t.co/uunD0N9Q

I forgot about cat hair. #cathair

Upon seeing my tweet, @mpenn ran up the stairs in concern, ate the leftover chocolate.

Not even interested in chocolate right now.

Please follow the incredibly witty @lianamaeby, the person who I always blame every time I find myself on twitter. #ff

No more candy, bro. http://t.co/cRr4JW9e

I just called you "bro" in a conversation I was having in my head with you.

ugh the last thing I need is a new monkey

There is going to be another @scharpling video, too, for Labrador, that I think you are going to like! I HOPE SO ANYWAY!!

MY RECORD COMES OUT IN FIVE DAYS AND I AM KIND OF WOUND UP ABOUT IT!

Gave Loudon a goodbye smooch at the gate & now I must kiss you goodbye, genteel people of Louisville! You have been great & I will miss you!

Hey! I have vinyl and it SPINS! Also there's a slip mat, and you can pre-order if you like! http://t.co/dTSB5szR

The amazing Chris Gethard post about depression: http://t.co/qu6eEyfE

@YuppiePunker It's streaming at http://t.co/l8d2iLcl

@YuppiePunker Manager did and forgot to tell me! #Dumb

@Saint_Upid Any legal purchase is good, my website or iTunes or Amazon etc...since I own my own label I actually get a little money from it!

@Saint_Upid Sending special hair glue via UPS. #Sorry

Hey, thanks to everyone who showed up at the Brown Theater yesterday...you guys were GREAT!

@TeaBeat Yay!!

@Saint_Upid Wait, I take it back, I thought it was something else! As you were! :)

@YuppiePunker Wait, I take it back, I thought it was something else! :)

@YuppiePunker The free download was done without asking me :(

@Saint_Upid Sadly, this is something that has been done without my permission. :(

@jonwurster Please don't say "crust" so early.

@tedleo HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLOW VIRGO!! #Special #theBest

@Caissie @bnacker GROSS I'M STAYING AWAY

@bnacker @Caissie I hate you made me laugh with that Empire State Building thing.

@DennisPetticoff You are incredibly nice!

@bnacker @Caissie I'm going to pour soup on your head from a plane.

@bnacker @Caissie I'm in Louisville, is why, sickie.

@Caissie @bnacker THAT IS GOOD ADVICE

@scharpling @Mossback @Andy_Richter @morgan_murphy @SarahThyre @MPenn @UncleDynamite @timheidecker So sleepy all of a sudden.

@SarahThyre @UncleDynamite @Merrillmarkoe @morgan_murphy @scharpling @timheidecker @birbigs @Andy_Richter @MPenn @JackNickerson Night.

@Merrillmarkoe @morgan_murphy @scharpling @timheidecker @birbigs @SarahThyre @UncleDynamite @Andy_Richter @MPenn You missed @jacknickerson

@morgan_murphy @scharpling @timheidecker @birbigs @sarahthyre @uncledynamite @andy_richter @mpenn @lianamaeby Liana's here!

@lianamaeby Tweet-party with some weirdos. Here, I'll add you to the list...

@morgan_murphy @scharpling @timheidecker @birbigs @sarahthyre @uncledynamite @andy_richter @mpenn Sorry, it might be wet in there.

@jakefogelnest Your Nickerson RT slayed me.

@lianamaeby Hi.

@timheidecker You are killing me.

@scharpling @timheidecker @birbigs @SarahThyre @UncleDynamite @Andy_Richter @morgan_murphy @MPenn MY RECORD #Plugs

@timheidecker "Jack Nickerson." Hahahaha!

@jakefogelnest @SarahThyre Why is he wearing a turban??

@SarahThyre @jakefogelnest HE STAYS RIGHT WHERE HE IS

@Andy_Richter @morgan_murphy @scharpling @sarahthyre @mpenn @uncledynamite @timheidecker @birbigs I think someone's locked in the bathroom.

@scharpling @SarahThyre @MPenn @UncleDynamite @birbigs @morgan_murphy NOT COOL MAN

@timheidecker WORD.

@MPenn @UncleDynamite I need to have watched more TV.

@scharpling @SarahThyre @morgan_murphy @MPenn @UncleDynamite @timheidecker One more added!!

@timheidecker Around that corner is a guy who hates you.

@morgan_murphy @MPenn @UncleDynamite @scharpling @SarahThyre I feel like everyone took acid but me.

@MPenn @UncleDynamite What you two are talking about, I will never understand.

@SarahThyre Sometimes I cover bruises.

@morgan_murphy @scharpling Do you have a hat rack on stage?

@morgan_murphy You better tell them how I write all your jokes and let you sleep on my bedroom floor wrapped in a comforter

@morgan_murphy I don't know why you are on that list and not me I am obviously so much funnier

@KarinBergquist Agreed! It was so lovely getting to know you. You are one of a kind. Hugs! @JoeHenryMusic

@lenadunham I would really like to see that poetry zine, though. #Congratulations

@Kylie_Brown OWLS ARE AWESOME

@beritbelen @npr Aw, Yay!!

@AndyKindler Yes. Do not bring @daveanthony.

@ashby44 I wish!

@blacksab67 I'm totally on board with that song now. SEXY LADY!

@VBoombotz Wow, thank you!

@Merrillmarkoe Holy shit, Merrill.

I think there is some info out there that made it sound like there would be actual performances, but no! It's movie stuff! Pretending!

Hey, to be clear, there is a call for extras at the Brown Theater in Louisville tonight, but I'm not performing...it's for the movie I'm in.

@TheRealTavie Pretty much.

@TheRealTavie @burnumd @aliceandstuff Ah, it's all up to the promoters!

@slpierce Thanks!

My new record "Charmer" is out next week, but you can listen to it NOW on NPR's First Listen! http://t.co/RjXGKs7K

@Noam25 I needed that.

@LouMUSICulture Just filming.

@kneemee @daveanthony Yes, we are good buddies!

@daveanthony You are disgusting.

@daveanthony Please do not talk about my hole.

@daveanthony "Heart"!! I meant "heart"!!! ARGH!!!! YOU WIN AGAIN!!!

@morgan_murphy @MPenn @campsucks @lenadunham I'm a good "pretender."

@daveanthony I am going to tear your heard out with my teeth and sing into your chest.

@cruzecon Out Sept. 18th! It's called "Charmer."

@morgan_murphy Uh...errr...

@glasnova Neither of us are playing though!

Never in a million years did I think I would be sitting across a table from Loudon Wainwright III & listening to him sing. Dream come true.

@glasnova Hey, it's not actually a show, they are filming a movie that we are in. Don't miss your own show!

@MPenn @campsucks @lenadunham He's studying alchemy. The key is made of gold. I hate having a cauldron in our living room.

@scottsimonsWVLA @MPenn @gibbstack That sounds awesome, and I'm not even being ironic.

@MPenn @Gibbstack Ew but agree!

@180Degrees2 Love being in it!

@NekoCase @joanhiller @tedleo @joconnorsoft Hats off to no asses!

@JeremyBronson xo

@Gibbstack "Two Tickets to Paradise" is awesome.

@ACNewman xoxox!

@Merrillmarkoe @morgan_murphy THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE

Thank you everybody for all the birthday wishes, and I'm so sorry for clogging up all your feeds! xo

@tomhensleyy Danke schön!

@morgan_murphy @aimeemann Cupcakes and unicorns! xoxox

@DavidGArnold @morgan_murphy NOT COOL MAN

@GaryTaxali XOXOXO

@mountain_goats POKE!

@morgan_murphy @Merrillmarkoe I'm sorry, that was very shellfish of me. #Yeah #Callback #Imthefunnyone

@kirkland24 Thank you for your birthday wishes!

@DavidGArnold Yes, even *I* have a birthday! @morgan_murphy

@briankoppelman YAY!

@scharpling I AM A MIRROR

@morgan_murphy That joke ruined my birthday.

@Merrillmarkoe @morgan_murphy Yay! I missed those cards!

@morgan_murphy Tell me a good birthday joke! xoxo

@sarahelisew Thank you, honey! You are the greatest!

@songrytr Yeah!

@WallyWackiman Thank you, Wally!

@tedleo There is nothing I like more than crazy relative stories.

@tedleo Do you have a crazy cool uncle and if so please bring him on tour

@kevinseccia Come on. It's like taking candy from a baby.

@blacksab67 Thanks a goddamn lot.

@pattonoswalt Back on the 12th, hope I see you soon.

@bnacker Dream me up a cake.

@bnacker Maybe you SHOULD go back to sleep.

@Caissie @kevinseccia Yum! Kevin is fat.

@JoeHenryMusic Thank you, Joe Henry, and I look forward to having coffee with you very soon.

@bnacker no stay up and tell me some funny things

@dreadfulwater Happy Birthday back!

@richardkeane Do we have the same birthday?! Happy Birthday!

@ashby44 You sweetheart, thank you so much. xoxox

@itschelseaking @iamrashidajones YOU are NICE!

@iamrashidajones I'm following you. But in a car, from a distance of two blocks.

@iamrashidajones Hi!

@kevinseccia Was just showing some friends your "Gangnum Style" video. Funny stuff.

@TrentGentry Sweetie.

@joconnorsoft Yeah!

@MPenn @karinbergquist @morgan_murphy You are so dry you are invited to be an honorary member. #humor

@rhettmiller @tedleo THE HUMBLEST ABOUT THEIR GREATNESS #Virgos

Talking to @KarinBergquist about starting an all-girl Ry Cooder tribute band called "Dry Cooter." #sorry #drunk @morgan_murphy

@TracyMcMillan So relieved, seriously.

I'm so exhausted, I feel high. But in a low way.

@kevinseccia Rush Limbaugh? #Hilarious

@sarahelisew @JoeHenryMusic Aw thanks!

@VonHelff @marcmaron Being discussed!

@m_proksch NOOO!! Burn me in! Burn me in!!

@DJRotaryRachel You mean @PFTompkins!

@marcmaron Yes.

@KoffeeGuy The best present.

@JavistaCoffee @viewingfigures YAY!!

@rhettmiller We are The Best. #Virgos @tedleo

@julia6476 Thanks!

@rhettmiller Happy Birthday, fellow Virgo! I'm one day behind you.

@uraclod @kevinseccia @arielschrag Perfect!

@NPRinskeep @adamjmartin @NPRInskeep Please post video.

@robhatchmiller She IS a charmer, though. I must see her when I'm in NY.

@arielschrag @kevinseccia Can't whistle when lips clogged with frosting.

@kylemeredith @joehenrymusic @karinbergquist So fun! Thank you for having us!

@robhatchmiller THIS IS A GOOD KITTY

@Merrillmarkoe We ARE pretty dumb!

@arielschrag Look, I know you're just trying to help, but @kevinseccia is never going to learn to read if you keep covering for him.

@timheidecker Miss you!

@NPRinskeep I have no idea what I actually said, but I think you should tell Sylvia regardless.

@kevinseccia Aw, come on...you can't read! #dumb #fat

Just did an interview for Morning Edition with Steve Inskeep that was very fun for me! He is funny and good. #NPR

@wilmsoft It's not out til Sept 18th, sorry!

@hodgman GREAT line.

@daveanthony I will kill you first, so rest easy.

@girliedyke Yay!

@SamuelAgboola Aw thanks!

@richsommer @mpenn Oh, that does not sound right.

@richsommer @mpenn YESSS!!

@SamuelAgboola @scharpling Will do!

@daveanthony #broom #cauldron #cats #pointedhat #otherwitchstuff #imtired

@TheRealTavie @michaelpenn HUGZZZZZZZ #Hugz

@daveanthony I'll drop balloons at your funeral. #Balloons #Dead

@blacksab67 How dare you--Joe is AWESOME. #awesome #howdareyou

@TheRealTavie @hodgman I love him though. #Joe

@MPenn Me TOOOOOOO

@MPenn @blacksab67 Please go keep him company.

@tedleo You go girl!

I can't tell you how sorry I am to be missing Biden right now. #work #tired #punchdrunk

@morgan_murphy @kylekinane So mad you made me laugh at the word "boners"

@Da5vi Happy Birthday, fellow Virgo!

@ellieseabird Yay!!

@Hunter_Downs Nein aber ich möchte!

I love him.“@lenadunham: I'm aroused! RT @hollywoodcrush: Olivia Thirlby & John Krasinski in 'Nobody Walks' clip: http://t.co/MxXGkQK2”

@robhatchmiller I know, it's nuts! #ScharplingWar

@MarcGalloway Laura Linney!

@moviemeltdown Shoot, wrong house! I was following this other guy. Sorry!

@GaryTaxali Then she will go on FOREVER.

Germany! Here is the video; this should work for you: http://t.co/R0giwQ7D

@GaryTaxali HATE

@GaryTaxali Did my robot double come up there and help you Gocco?

@neildomass Aw thanks!

Hey, here is my video for my new single "Charmer" again. @scharpling directed it and he is great! http://t.co/CZXHJ6R7

@kevinseccia Morning, Fats.

@JamesUrbaniak @hodgman @jenkirkman CATS ARE NEVER OVER

@JamesUrbaniak @JenKirkman You actually made me laugh out loud with that dumb thing. Also, AGREE.

@JenKirkman Single-issue? What is that issue supposed to be?

@TheRealTavie Hugs!

@morgan_murphy SNUGGLIE!!

@TheRealTavie Hear hear.

It is nice to be among the nice! And people are kind. I forget that.

I don't think I could be more grateful to @JoeHenryMusic for roping me into doing this movie.

@jonwurster Again?

@aaronvan1964 Hi back!

@boggia Check it out! http://t.co/C1groQVa

@boggia Of course, it's for the movie, but it IS mine.

@boggia I am wearing a dress THIS VERY MINUTE.

@boggia I LOVE THIS

@marcmaron Really, I had just stepped away from my phone & didn't mean to make you wait, but now I'm a bit disappointed there's no begging.

@morgan_murphy I only call YOURS a cooter. @marcmaron

@marcmaron Of course.

@marcmaron @songrytr I like cats!

@leighkoechner Ooh she's cute, thanks! But no.

@marcmaron @plsthnks This town is the greatest.

Thank you,@Kulap...it's all I've got! @kevinseccia

@leighkoechner It's Louisville, but it's completely worth the plane change in Dallas.

@lianamaeby @kevinseccia I bet if you rolled in whiskey first you could have stretched it to two.

@morgan_murphy Home on the 12th!

Once I tricked @kevinseccia into kissing me by sprinkling powdered sugar around my mouth. #doughnuts #dumb

Seems like a weird time to ask. @TulsaGuy45 @pksfrk

@morgan_murphy Will you watch Dance Moms in a snuggie with me?

We ate at 21c last night! It was unbelievably great. @pksfrk

@blacksab67 YOU taste like a rug.

@branden628 Working long days, I was lucky to get out today!

@RUSTYSCAGE It's SO GREAT.

"Please And Thank You," a coffee shop that sells vinyl with a booth with a turntable...Louisville, what kind of utopian paradise ARE you?!

@daniel_mahle You are a sweetheart.

@UncleDynamite Shit, I totally forgot he was incapable of love, unless it's the special love man has for pastries etc etc @kevinseccia

@thesaltman @caissie @kevinseccia Also, USED? Gross.

@thesaltman I eat gluten free doughnuts! And @kevinseccia has love handles, I've seen them. @caissie

@kevinseccia Possibly your best tweet work ever.

@benleemusic Agree!

@greyhairedfool4 Just those two!

@greyhairedfool4 Yes.

@benleemusic @ACNewman RIGHT?!

@Caissie Well, @kevinseccia is shaped like a doughnut, except the hole is his mouth, and in his mouth is a doughnut.

@Caissie @kevinseccia I don't even know what you two are talking about. Is is a kind of a doughnut?

@julieklausner @jodify @tedleo @lenadunham Ewwwww!

@jonwurster So great!...a bit disappointed I couldn't see your Union Jack shorts, though.

@portrub Me too...always love playing in Pittsburgh!

@AlisonPIAS @scharpling He's the best! Thanks, I'm glad you like it, record out the 18th with another video coming! xo

@tedleo @lenadunham @jodify That is an AWESOME nickname. #BabyD

@FitzBowden London show in January!

@AlisonPIAS Ooh, I hope I can! It's been so long! xo

@dorkthunderdome Tired.

@serafinowicz YAY!! THANK YOU!!

@serafinowicz Every time I sing Happy Birthday, I think about your lovely bridge for it and wish that I could remember how it goes.

@lenadunham That first one sounds cute, though.

@pattonoswalt Hi!

Had to do a scene today with @JoeHenryMusic where we had to laugh, so we prepped for it by listening to @pattonoswalt routines. #TheBest

@heliumcell @lianamaeby Well, it faded a little over the day...

@lianamaeby Me too.

@lianamaeby http://t.co/lLjIUaOi

Louisville, you are incredibly charming, but when I walk out in you, you are hot, wet, and heavy as hell.

Man, this fake hair they have on me looks AMAZING.

@gregtheilmann JK!

@gregtheilmann Spent that 50 on strong rope.

@ACNewman just sent me his new record & 15 seconds into it already it hurts my stomach it is so good. If you make me cry I will be mad.

@TracyMcMillan That's all very well and good, but I need you HERE!

I don't mean to brag, but I have a $50 bill.

@DavidGArnold Stroke?

@BillBadger1976 Yessss!!!

@DanBeirne @marie215_ WHAT?! NOOOOO!!!

@bnacker @kevinseccia Double favorite.

@bnacker @kevinseccia He can't look in the mirror because NO MIRROR IS BIG ENOUGH YEAH

Me & @KarinBergquist & @JoeHenryMusic (the 3 newbies) talking about acting...Joe says "it's like trying to ride a bicycle on a frozen lake."

@kevinseccia HAPPY NOW??

@byBobbyWoods Such a dumb song.

@johnvanderslice Aw, that is nice! And don't feel obligated; I hate going to rock shows myself. We will discuss closer to the day!

@johnvanderslice To SF? Don't you live there? Or to where I am playing? You are welcome to do it!

Good night, pals and buddies! You are all nice.

@johnvanderslice Playing in SF soon. Will perform home trepanning surgery. Should do the trick. Have some Mercurochrome handy.

@johnvanderslice THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD

@johnvanderslice Kitties take precedence.

@DrAdamJahnke Yes!

@johnvanderslice That was fast!

@blacksab67 They loved baseball and they were very funny. Well, two of them.

@JoeHenryMusic He's the best.

@JenKirkman It kind of sums it up.

@michaelmontes Whoa! Hi there stranger!

@artlab It was amazing, I loved it, I met him and he was nice, but SHE was GREAT.

@vinnierulesocc I'm SO not bad ass, but thank you!

@JenniferSparkle Thank you!

@tomhensleyy Ich verstehe Deutsch immer besser, wenn ich betrunken bin!

@jwoliner It really doesn't look that much like Hitler.

I won't drunk dial you but I WILL drunk answer you. Well, until I get sleepy.

@tedleo APPROVE

@clinton_o Yes!!

In my defense, Loudon Wainwright was drinking it first so we all thought it was cool.

I can't believe I got drunk on rosé.

I can't possibly have said that. “@QuotesYard: "It really doesn't matter to me what people say about me anymore." - #Aimee Mann #quotes”

@mrbenjaminlaw Ew!!

Reading a book about Australia, and there on PAGE 6 is that GODDAMN platypus and his creepy CLOACA again! #gross

That's where "God" is code for "Gene Simmons." @boonhogganbeck @jonwurster

@GaryTaxali Gary, I just love these so much.

God is in way over his head. @jonwurster

@pattonoswalt Will be referenced in next season's "Newsroom."

@jonwurster You're always talking about your diaper area.

@tincanman2010 I'll tell him, thanks!!

@JeremyBronson DEAL.

@JeremyBronson We never had that dinner, and now I'm in Louisville for 2 weeks, TRAGEDY!

@JeremyBronson HI

@meganamram Happy Birthday, fellow Virgo!

@jonwurster That thing is creepy.

@m_proksch Forget what? #yeah #classic

@Lin_Manuel Love it, and you.

@Lin_Manuel Off.

@m_proksch Damn, I totally forgot you were a One-way Monkey.

@morgan_murphy @julieklausner @campsucks Remember when we used to like you and then you rubbed our faces in the fact of our inferiority?

@tedleo @VirgoNation Well...um...

@tedleo I am really appreciating your Virgo RTs. All true, btw. #VirgosRule

@kevinseccia Yeah, but that's only because you were so busy stuffing Chex Mix into your gob that you missed the sunset.

@kevinseccia YOU ARE A MONSTER

@kevinseccia Maybe you saying to me, "Want half of this doughnut? No, really, I don't mind."

@m_proksch Remember me?

@tedleo @waydegrins It's going to be 3 hours of solid tweets.

@Gaboryus They cleaned the room and when I came back, it was GONE.

@pattonoswalt Oh, Patton.

@morgan_murphy @julieklausner @campsucks @meganhilty NOW YOU'RE JUST SHOWING OFF

@morgan_murphy @julieklausner @campsucks Just for that, I'm going to hunt down Anjelica Houston and have her throw a drink in my face.

@julieklausner @morgan_murphy @campsucks WHOA WHAT THE HELL

@Cassidy2099 I brought four.

@bryanhadley No, I'm not sure why it says that.

@heliumcell Also, NOT HELPFUL.

@heliumcell I changed it twice, that is enough vanity for the day.

Day off in Louisville, it's raining, no one is around, and the only thing on the hotel tv is a rerun of "Sex and the City". KILL ME NOW.

@RogerMcGuinn Thanks!

@blacksab67 You free for a call?

@kevinseccia Hahaha exactly! Hey, what can I say...I'm a "physical" fighter!

@jonwurster Dumb. #YoureDumb

Ok, this one has slightly more eyebrow. Let's make this happen! It's got to last me another four years!

@kevinseccia For you, ALL "arrangements" are edible.

@robdelaney Bless your heart!

New picture! It kind of looks like I have no eyebrows, though.

@JenKirkman @pftompkins @hodgman I wish I was there!

EVERYTHING is a gateway drug.

Just to clarify...@JoeHenryMusic is in a movie where he IS pretending to be an engineer.

@kevinseccia CAKE CAN KICK YOUR FAT ASS.

@lianamaeby I can't see a reason for anything.

@lianamaeby I read this as "can't see reason" and was about to assure you that there was indeed such a thing.

@kevinseccia Pie?! You insult me, sir.

@kevinseccia I'm from Virginia. Have at it.

This is where @JoeHenryMusic tries to pretend he knows how to engineer: http://t.co/RY5nmp5u

@DavinWood @caissie I refuse to watch this nightmare.

@blacksab67 Oh, boy.

@atrubens #NotGreatJoke

I love how far off the rails @DavinWood went with this thread. @caissie

@atrubens It seems so RESIGNED.

@heliumcell You live in BOSTON and you can say that a cockroach is not worse than a beetle?? Have you never lived in ALLSTON, man??

The bug has remained motionless for a LONG time. Either it has the patience of Job or it's dead. Can bugs die standing up? @Caissie

@Caissie @johnroderick Dream scenario.

@DavidGArnold This is a disgusting idea.

I am really trying to convince myself that this bug in the hotel bathroom is some kind of beetle and not a cockroach.

@pulmyears Yes, and it was amazing.

Oh, @JoeHenryMusic, I left out "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple in our discussion tonight. That's a big one.

@JoeHenryMusic Hear, hear, Joe. I feel honored to have shared martinis with the two of you.

@SarahThyre What did we talk about that night at Patton's thing, breast milk? You were delightful.

@JennaStern He's a great guy.

Ok, Loudon Wainwright is now playing songs for us in the studio and it is so great it is bringing tears to my eyes. #awesomeness

Here are me & John Doe with our lady-drinks last night: http://t.co/tmekcCTN

@FATHERJOHNMISTY Smooches back!

@KatCorbett Ooops I mixed up some words but you get the idea. @FATHERJOHNMISTY

@katcorbett I AM a discerning listener and I DO want to hear "Hollywood Cemetery Forever Sings" more! @FATHERJOHNMISTY

@FATHERJOHNMISTY Done!

@kevinseccia Damn it I typoed!! I'M AN IDIOT!

@kevinseccia Loev Walter Tevis.

@wilmsoft Thanks! See you soon!

@daveanthony That's pretty whimsical, or crazy.

@daveanthony I'm pretty sure you have that wrong.

@JenKirkman Omg, me too. That is what I was thinking of.

@JenKirkman Isn't it a kind of acting exercise?

Thanks you guys for saying hi...now I am off to bed! Hugs!

@Seattle_D @blacksab67 You are nice.

@14Belair42 Aw thanks!

@DJTailgate Hello!

@frogspadca Hi! I care!

@Sandvee Hi!

@Seattle_D @blacksab67 Bless your heart!

@daveanthony Wait...it really DOES?

@daveanthony I love you.

@pulmyears Very fun! John Doe and Loudon Wainwright and Joe Henry and Karin Bergquist are in it!

Finally seeing clips of the doddering Clint/chair showdown. Effing NUTS.

@kevinseccia @lianamaeby @JenKirkman Pretty sure with your half-Asian heritage you will be right behind us.

@pulmyears I'm in a movie!

@blacksab67 @KarenKilgariff Step one, honey.

@lianamaeby @JenKirkman @kevinseccia Nice dog, though.

@blacksab67 That really made me laugh.

@lianamaeby @JenKirkman @kevinseccia AND HAS A RECTANGULAR HAM HEAD YEAH!

@Gibbstack Ugh, people.

@blacksab67 @karenkilgariff Blech.

@KarenKilgariff @blacksab67 That's disgusting.

I'm having a lady drink that has an egg white in it, but in my defense, John Doe ordered it first.

@paulwellar @joehenrymusic I wish.

@frozen_fever Ew!

The great @JoeHenryMusic & John Doe rehearsing a song for this movie, "Pleased to Meet Me." http://t.co/raou9tlT

@ThatTomHall @mpenn Angry and disappointed.

@ThatTomHall @mpenn I like snacks!

@pattonoswalt I know.

I AM making a documentary about him called "Tippity Tappity: Travelling the Road to Success One Paradiddle at a Time." @jonwurster

Apparently some people think @jonwurster is in this movie with me, but sadly, he's not.

@bnacker Rite here

Ok now @bnacker now says I should "Showgirls" him instead.

I got to do a scene with Loudon Wainwright today and he was just so great. I told @bnacker about it & he said I should "All About Eve" him.

@UncleDynamite Thank you.

@Tremayne11 Jesus...time FLIES.

@Scott5x5 Hi, Drinkie!

@Tremayne11 Hi! Phone won't let me see it, I'll try when I get home. Thanks for your kind words of a few weeks ago..good to hear from you xo

@pattonoswalt Victoria Jackson?!?!

"You keep trying to paint me as some kind of normal person, and I'm NOT!! I just like nice clothes!"--@JoeHenryMusic, just now.

@CraigHurring @paulie_beYEAH!!

@DJRotaryRachel I know, right? :(

I JUST FOUND OUT WE GOT FOUR STARS IN MOJO!! Thank you @paulie_be for doing such a great job! SO EXCITED!

@bulletproofbrad Should be doing a few in January!

It can't be good to start the day out THIS tired. I feel like I lived three lives in my dreams last night.

@GaryTaxali POKE

@pulmyears Hugs!

@GerryDuggan @daveanthony I'll sing it at his funeral.

@bnacker I like you. Chairs.

@daveanthony That's practically a tongue kiss from the likes of you.

@BansheeMilk Oh, sorry misread.

@BansheeMilk No, i had to google it! Yuk!

Good night, friends.

@WendyLiebman Hi!

@pattonoswalt At your service.

@chiiscake I know enough to know this can't be a compliment. @tomhensleyy

@campsucks Takes so little to get a room these days.

@tomhensleyy Ah, pleased! I thought it might be "excited."

@tomhensleyy I know most of those words!

@scottsimonsWVLA NEVER FORGET

@scottsimonsWVLA Aw, good ol' cloaca! I almost forgot!

@ChrisWillman POKE

@tomhensleyy Ich bin sehr mĂĽde. Wie gehts?

@davidoreilly Du kannst nicht!

Hi.

@pattonoswalt Sounds like you could really use a good old-fashioned guitar singalong.

@hulotat404 THANK YOU!

@bnacker No, neither apple nor grape.

@kevinseccia Not cool, man! I deliberately held back a joke on the @Andy_Richter thread about YOU hiding YOUR penis with your blob gut!

@Andy_Richter @kevinseccia :(

@kevinseccia Not allowed if you're from New Jersey.

@Andy_Richter @kevinseccia Damn it, I thought HE was naked. Or were you BOTH naked?! I HOPE BOTH.

@Andy_Richter @kevinseccia I hope you didn't look down as you answered him.

@KarenKilgariff PLEASE GOD YES

@JenKirkman Weird, "4th Hole" is @jonwurster's nickname for me. What.

@kevinseccia I am so proud that I knew this too. Also some other things that we will take to the grave.

@JenKirkman Is it true you were born on a golf course? @jonwurster

@TheRealTavie I sure do, honey.

Early morning chat with @jonwurster. He's off to rock in the studio at the least rocking of hours: 9:00am.

@DavinWood It really doesn't help at all.

CAN'T SLEEP ARGH

@wisconsinfatcat Thanks!

I think the headache was from the humidity last night. Although God knows there is plenty of that going on right now.

@KevinEsmeier The last one.

@wisconsinfatcat @femphil Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Dudes! Louisville is kind of awesome, and the people I am working with on this movie are the greatest!

@lianamaeby @kevinseccia That stands for Follow Fattie, right?

@DaceMerrywether Thanks for ordering and waiting! You are nice!

@kevinseccia No danger of this happening.

@morgan_murphy Thanks for the RT, duuuuuude!

@kevinseccia EFF YOU GLOBBERS

@kevinseccia I'm pretty sure I have at least one of these.

@Caissie But they have Reese's Cups!

@Caissie I went too far and killed them all. Shit. Now what?

@Caissie Broken!

So I'm in Louisville actually acting in a movie! Just did two scenes with Joe Henry & John Doe. Joe & I nervous as hell. Yikes!

@DavidGArnold A stone-cold fox.

@jonwurster Dumb.

@ItsBrianMcIver Aw thanks! I hope to come there soon!

@robdelaney Thanks! You are nice. Hugs! xo

I'm in Louisville, KY, getting up at a time I usually go to bed. Good God almighty.

@sosyourfacee FRONT

HEADACHE

@TrentGentry Oh, pants.

@Alun_H I appreciate you waiting! I hope you like it!

@caliban10 No chance!

@heliumcell You're defying the baby stereotypes; maybe you will defy the teenage ones.

@heliumcell Why, shucks, thank you sir!

@heliumcell Because she is sleeping and you are waking her?

@Caissie Here, here.

@Lin_Manuel Bless your heart!

@entylawyer I'm all about the Babycakes, myself.

@jessgitner No worries, we'll make it happen! Yay free books!

@kevinseccia Love it!

@morgan_murphy OH DUDE THAT SUCKS. SO SORRY.

@Caissie Was that a derisive laugh? BECAUSE WE ARE THE BEST. @bnacker

@bnacker We are the best.

@bnacker I like chairs.

@Tikidoll I would have LOVED to see Neil! Next year maybe. :(

@NeilHamburger @m_proksch #*ÂŁ

@TrentGentry Not anymore!

@morgan_murphy @campsucks Great news, because then I won't feel awkward trying out my "Akin chunk" on you.

@campsucks @morgan_murphy Let's do it!

@m_proksch Watching Project Runway and it's just not the same without you texting @NeilHamburger through it.

@campsucks The boxing or the snuggie? @morgan_murphy

@morgan_murphy Besides snuggies?

@morgan_murphy OMG I MIGHT STILL BE IN LA THAT DAY

@kevinseccia Shut your giant canned-ham-hole.

@morgan_murphy Do you know when it's happening?? I'll probably be gone :(

@PTR1969 Aw, thanks!

@PTR1969 Come on, though..."bush supporter' is kind of funny, right?

@blacksab67 WORD.

@kevinseccia I can't wait to sing at YOUR FUNERAL AND THEN IT REALLY WILL ALL BE OVER FATTY!

@PTR1969 Ewwww!!

@MrAdamDolan Hee hee!

@MrAdamDolan You know nothing of the sort! # Ew

@robdelaney I love that you're a big bush supporter, Rob!

@kevinseccia Oh, you like cake all right.

@kevinseccia YOU should start saving up for the CRANE they will need to get you out of your apartment!

@kevinseccia Puppets made of doughnuts! Yum!

@heliumcell But it will keep your soul crisp for you!

@briaboy Well, he IS a monster. :)

@paulscheer My stuff is good for abs. Try it.

@daveanthony Just the pot at the end of it, no gold.

@daveanthony You're too delightful to ignore.

@briaboy No worries, he's a comedian friend of mine!

@daveanthony Also, Ew.

@daveanthony You can't blame me for your own monstrous behavior, Dave.

@daveanthony How many hearts can you shit on? I would think you would have tired of that move by now. Maybe a different organ?

@daveanthony Big mistake. That tomato sauce was the best thing about you.

Ran into @GregBehrendt today; we talked about how awful @daveanthony is. He agrees with me completely. Verdict: Monster.

@daveanthony You ARE fudge.

@daveanthony Let it be a warning to you.

@timheidecker Looking forward to the case of rare French #cognac you are bringing back.

@chrislong All I know is that it's a J45 reissue, but I don't know when that came out or anything. Sorry!

@chrislong It's a reissue!

@DJRotaryRachel Now more than ever!

@timheidecker How's it going?

@ACNewman I love love love your new song. Well done!!!

@JimGaffigan She was the best. Sad.

@bnacker What the hell is going on over there?

@richsommer I was going to suggest that we meet for coffee but then I read your blog and realized you were crazy.

@mountain_goats This is handy! You can tell who's been raped and who hasn't by the ones who don't get pregnant!

@campsucks Totally down with this new cc-ing technique. cc. @morgan_murphy cc.@lenadunham cc @MPenn

@campsucks @lenadunham @morgan_murphy We must surround @MPenn and force him into our Smash-watching cult! Hypnotize him with our eyes!

@mwisme And thank you!

@mwisme Hahaha how dare you!

@kevinseccia I will chew your head off for that.

@kevinseccia Like when you and Matilda go for a walk? Except that she's super cute and you're a hungover blob?

@JohnLovick I had no idea you were a Queen fan.

@robhatchmiller I LOVE THIS

@GregBehrendt I am so all about one way monkey.

@baywatchboy Thank you! Welcome!

@UncleDynamite I'm not going to lie to you. There's a lot of coffee consumed, and possibly sandwiches made of cheese.

@usamike Sorry, I bet that is annoying! Hi! Let's US crack wise!

@UncleDynamite I loved them. So little technique. Zero forensics. Lots of cops just sitting around talking. Recommend!

@UncleDynamite :)

@UncleDynamite Have you read Maj Sjowall/ Per Wahloo?

@UncleDynamite You're my hero.

@UncleDynamite This is really turning into something!

@KarenKilgariff He smells blood in the water. @morgan_murphy @daveanthony @jimgaffigan

@UncleDynamite Corn cob pipe.

@UncleDynamite What about smokin'?

@morgan_murphy HUG TIME!! @KarenKilgariff @jimgaffigan

@morgan_murphy #ffuck you!

@morgan_murphy Aww you gave me a #ff!

@morgan_murphy Come on, @MPenn is not THAT bad a driver.

@KaseyAnderson Disgusting.

Ah, KUSC! Florence Price! I have never heard of her but it is AWESOME!!

I just this minute in the car realized how great Queen was.

YUCK RT @heliumcell: @aimeemann Hey, babe. Whatever floats your boat...peace out. #Mellow *sleepy eyes* *peace sign* *mood ring* @GaryTaxali

@DJRotaryRachel ONE WAY MONKEY!!! @m_proksch

@UncleDynamite Ewwww. @Caissie @heliumcell

@m_proksch You passed that doughnut up, I was so impressed. Why didn't I follow your example?? I was awake most of the night. Dumb.

@m_proksch Come on.

@heliumcell Get a new doctor, one that has EYES. @GaryTaxali

@Caissie Awesomely disgusting.

@m_proksch I ate too much last night.

@Blake_Hazard Sweet.

@heliumcell Mellow out, dude. @GaryTaxali

@GaryTaxali Hear that, @heliumcell?! SCIENCE!!

@tedleo Wait, what? No more twitter for today? I CAN'T TAKE IT!

@heliumcell Peguins are dopey looking and I can't believe you said the dik-dik doesn't pass the snuggle test. @GaryTaxali

@GaryTaxali I want that cooing owl!! @heliumcell

@campsucks @morgan_murphy When is it back on??

@heliumcell My rhyming dictionary just fainted.

@heliumcell Yay?

.@lvdjgarcia No, I guess it's just proclaimed to be "clean" in general!

@KaseyAnderson Not cool, man.

No idea why it's not available in some countries...will inquire.

HI! This is the official link to my new video "Charmer, starring the awesome Laura Linney! CD is out Sept 18th! http://t.co/DnhJwx6O

@GaryTaxali Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. LAMBADA!

@scottsimonsWVLA EXACTLY!!

.@LCLuckiest I AM NOT GOING TO GOOGLE THAT GROSS THING

@scottsimonsWVLA My point exactly! Anything with a cloaca is by definition DISGUSTING. @GaryTaxali @heliumcell

Having an argument on facebook with @GaryTaxali & @heliumcell about whether an egg-laying mammal is cuter than a dik-dik. one word: CLOACA.

@kevinseccia Fat.

@ArdenMyrin I really thought my little dance would cheer you up!

@KaseyAnderson PROBABLY SCABIES @kevinseccia

@TheRealTavie I am blaming this tweet entirely on low blood sugar.

@campsucks I think @hodgman can get you a special deal. @lenadunham

@hodgman You're an INVESTOR? I knew something was fishy about that whole deal.

@campsucks Probably for the best.

@campsucks YOU ARE NICE

@margauxemeder Oh he's the cutest little Bunny! Hope you're well. Love you! xo

@julieklausner The genius of @scharpling!

@lenadunham THAT IS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT I AM GOING TO BELIEVE IT ANYWAY! THANK YOU!! @scharpling

@blake_hazard Hi!

@timheidecker Plus, the game always goes to whoever can get to @hitler first. @danharmon

@timheidecker @danharmon @hitler I've been the Silent Judge this whole time, surprise!

@danharmon @timheidecker @hitler Dan wins.

@tedleo AGREE

@arosegregory Aww, thanks! @scharpling is a genius, as we all know!

@kevinseccia Hate you.

My new @scharpling directed video for "Charmer"! http://t.co/CbjQluAR

@KaseyAnderson Really?

@AsidesMusic No, sorry, I have a show! But thank you!

@kevinseccia Don't worry, doughnuts can be liquified.

@Seattle_D "sideshow"

@ArdenMyrin Yay! Thanks! Xo

@atrubens I would go see that movie. @kevinseccia

@prettyendeavors Aw, I'm glad it helps!

@atrubens Pretty sure you stole this recipe from @kevinseccia, except you switched from whiskey to bourbon & left out the doughnut garnish.

@tedleo You MAKE that video. @ACNewman @scharpling

@ACNewman Hahaha! @scharpling is a genius!

@atrubens I assume that monster is @kevinseccia.

@erikjdavis Hee!

Can't believe @MPenn is not digging this giant octopus.

@kevinseccia I'm not trying to be a dick, but you're a giant blobby orb.

@m_proksch @mpenn Best kind of party.

@thatneilcleary @atrubens I will crush you both like bugs.

@miguemarchant XOs to you!

@KarenKilgariff AGREE

@KarenKilgariff What?? You live next door to me??

@m_proksch Damn it, I totally forgot we were going to have our Ribbon Party tonight! @MPenn

@atrubens SOMEONE'S dream is coming true. @thatneilcleary

You'd have to include boxing in that too, then. @paullu @mpenn

@atrubens You're a nut.

@Kylie_Brown Agree!

Had usual argument with @MPenn about whether rhythmic gymnastics is a "sport"; 10 minutes later he's outraged Italy lost in Group Ribbon.

Triple word! @tedleo @nekocase @virgonation

@KarenKilgariff I'm not so thrilled about "clubs."

@KarenKilgariff Look, I'm not saying you're wrong.

@KarenKilgariff I love the ribbon dancers!

@tomhensleyy Das stimmt!

@thejunkmales I floated to my car.

@thejunkmales I've walked across no streets today!

@ahuntre Hee!

@SarahThyre Clothing optional.

Now I'm watching gymnastics with "hoop" and "ball." AWESOME.

@annielarry Would love it.

@SarahThyre You and Andy bring a TOTALLY different thing to the sport.

@KaseyAnderson Come on, man. Easy does it. LET GO AND LET GOD.

Synchronized swimming is way weirder than I thought, and I thought it was pretty weird. The maniacal smiles are freaking me out.

@kevinseccia The only thing you're punching up is a new hole in your belt BECAUSE YOU ARE FAT GET IT?

@KaseyAnderson Stop being such a cranky-pants.

@parkerhatcher I AM GLAD YOU ARE ALIVE @heyitsblanc

@atrubens Maybe next time have @kevinseccia punch it up.

@atrubens That is really dumb.

@morgan_murphy Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

@livingroomny Thanks, but my birthday isn't til Sept. 8th!

Word. RT @johnroderick: No one has it easy.

@AndyKindler OH MY G-D! @kevinseccia

@kevinseccia If there's anything that doesn't have to be explained to you, by God it ought to be FOOD. #YouAreFat

@noahlamberth Same here, Noah!

@DJRotaryRachel Please come over in this outfit regardless.

@DJRotaryRachel Right??

@_FieldReport Aw, you are nice, and the honor goes both ways!

@emilyprocter ...sorry, they're doing color correcting now.

@emilyprocter I saw a rough cut, it looks good! They

@tedleo I'll give you a disco ball and add in some shadow puppets. @MPenn

@MPenn Or the lightning. @tedleo

"The mind is a real asshole sometimes." --@GaryTaxali today, while helping me make some prints via skype, because he is extremely nice.

@pulmyears He'll be even better in a toga. @BobReidToronto

@atrubens All right, that's not so bad. Ps. Kevin is fat. @kevinseccia

@BobReidToronto Please wear a toga so I will recognize you.

@kevinseccia Ugh, now you're telling me he paid for breakfast with Charlie Chaplin's TEETH? Gross! @atrubens

@kevinseccia I just had breakfast with @atrubens...he tried to pay in Chicklets. I guess times have changed.

@heliumcell YOU'RE a fossil.

@heyitsblanc Oh, no!! Please send @parkerhatcher my love and I will send good thoughts his way!!

@Kylie_Brown SO JEALOUS.

@scottsimonsWVLA Jesus... this is insane. Just turned on the news.

@KaseyAnderson I'm too busy "rockin' out."

@KaseyAnderson "Rock and roll."

@brriogorrman Aw, thanks! But do not die please!

@RhiannaHumphrey Working on a tour in the UK for January!

@GaryTaxali Yes! Comic jam!!

It was a great feeling to be on tour with @tedleo though, which is a thing that is going to happen in real life in the fall!

Of course it didn't occur to me that I hadn't yet learned the songs til about 5 minutes before showtime. @tedleo

Long involved dream last night about me and @MPenn scheduled to play a festival where we were doing all @tedleo songs.

@navneetJAM No, Smilers was the great @GaryTaxali and Charmer is by my terrific art director Gail Marowitz.

@daveanthony Get it together, Dave. @heliumcell

@daveanthony SHUT UP I HATE YOU AND YOU'RE NOT FUNNY

@daveanthony Too bad, I am going to sing into your ear as you gasp your last.

@daveanthony Can't wait til the day I strangle the life out of you.

@daveanthony Just had a terrible fright when I realized you were still alive.

@TrentGentry Thanks! My art director is a genius. Good luck on yours!

@kevinseccia You are both impossibly dumb. @UncleDynamite

@kevinseccia No amount of chair-rearranging is going to accommodate your enormous girth.

@AndyKindler And thanks!! xo

@AndyKindler It's out Sept 18th and I just did two videos with @scharpling!

@morgan_murphy If you are going to play the guitar, you have to keep your nails short &never wash your hands so your callouses don't soften.

@daveanthony TGIF! @morgan_murphy

@morgan_murphy Wait, I'll totally check out a pant-less @daveanthony. Don't be so hasty.

@morgan_murphy You totally tried to indoctrinate me into you & @molls cult-like nail club yesterday by suggesting a manicure, ADMIT IT.

@morgan_murphy Maybe if the nail had a little face painted on it. @molls

Gross. RT @morgan_murphy: The word is "pants" not "plans." RT @HuffingtonPost: Sandusky charity drops plans for internal probe

@sleevemeister Apparently, it is having one fingernail painted a different color than the others. @morgan_murphy

Of all the terrible things @morgan_murphy has done, introducing me to the term "statement nail" might be the worst.

@parkerhatcher Thanks for the promo!! Xo

@atrubens Are you calling @kevinseccia "pork stock"? Because I think that is a pretty good nickname for him.

@cameron_durkin THANK YOU! @scharpling @tedleo

@kevinseccia If a doughnut isn't pictured within the first three, what's the point? AM I RIGHT YOU ARE FAT GET IT?

@TheRealTavie THE WORST.

@TheRealTavie No, Mickey was on Hollywood Blvd. Yuck. Disney Mickey is a different story.

@JakeSiira907 Hugs!

@oliviamunn You are fantastic on this show.

I am LOVING Olivia Munn in the Newsroom right now.

@UncleDynamite Eeeeewwwwwww.

@UncleDynamite I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for why you are so familiar with the scent of afterbirth.

@emilyprocter Hee hee!

@davidh_t Hear, hear!

@parkerhatcher Bless your heart.

@munsongs Haha yes!

@KarenKilgariff I'm on on @rhettmiller's side.

@blacksab67 This is one sad story.

@KarenKilgariff What was it? Maybe I can use it. @rhettmiller

@blacksab67 Have you tried "trying again"?

@JohnLovick I was just referring to "The Norman Conquests," but yes, please.

@CamusonTMZ You just upped the ante.

@DayHale27 Hee! And :(

What a sad, futile endeavor trying to "make someone happy" is.

@GaryTaxali ...a cute little orphaned bat, who is all alone, and...<sob>

@daveanthony You would.

@leighkoechner Deal.

@leighkoechner Baby dolphin?

@TVsAndyDaly We're gonna have to do this on our own, CORRECTLY.

@TVsAndyDaly I was disappointed there was no "Ode To Tea And Fog."

@TrentGentry Xo

@pulmyears Shouldn't be dismantled...?

@pulmyears More like a caption.

@lianamaeby Also, Ow.

Oh, everything.

@byBobbyWoods Might be velvet, might be terrycloth. But that head was ALL MICKEY. #HollywoodBlvd

@parkerhatcher Thank youuuuuu!!!!

@kevinseccia EFF YOU, YOU GIANT BLOB @lianamaeby

@lianamaeby That's cool--I'm wearing a black velour catsuit.

@lianamaeby I got 8 bucks and a gluten-free bagel. Close enough?

There's no way you can tell me that a grown man in a black velour catsuit & a giant Mickey Mouse head is anything but a walking nightmare.

@jonwurster There will come a day when YOU will have been in every single ONE of those bands.

Autocorrect is responsible for all my Freudian slips now.

Really earning my #FF with @morgan_murphy. Just made her coffee and scrambled eggs & gave her my copy of US Weekly.

@morgan_murphy JUST GIVE ME THAT #FF GODAMNIT

@morgan_murphy Come by and I'll make you coffee!

@m_proksch @timheidecker I know how disappointed you are, Buddy. #BrandX

@am_bodoira Aw, thanks so much. Xo

@kevinseccia You bloated idiot.

@DJRotaryRachel Wow, that is some advanced tweeting! Buddy Rich!

@DavidKoechner @jenkirkman YAY VIRGO LADIES

@TrentGentry A classic rhyme.

@lianamaeby I'm all about the 2.

@timheidecker "Soft leak." Gross.

@kevinseccia The odds are pretty good he's gum-based, Fatty.

@kevinseccia Save your money, Kevin. You can't eat him.

@JOSHPYKE I can't even look at the picture as this idea completely terrifies me.

@bulletproofbrad God bless you! It's very upsetting :(

@pattonoswalt Come over here; I'll make you coffee. @MPenn is only part crazy.

Guess who stopped by this morning for coffee! THE @jonwurster! http://t.co/tGBwzTsm

On set for today's video: RT @emilyprocter: @aimeemann and @timheidecker. Doin it. I'm not sure what it is. http://t.co/8wBIy8xb

On the set of a video I'm doing with @timheidecker for the song we wrote together! http://t.co/tbYkFWft

@LogFlume @mpenn The meat bees were back today!